The New York Times tackles the breastfeeding diet today. The piece covers the science around the breastfeeding/weight-loss connection (it’s iffy), whether women attribute postpartum weight loss to breastfeeding (some do, some don’t), and how mothers feel about it (it’s complicated).

As a mom-to-be who plans to try breastfeeding–try being the operative word, as I’m of the belief that there are no guarantees and that flexibility goes a long way when it comes to this mothering gig–I feel for mom Jesse Comer, who is quoted in the article: “Nobody wants to admit they are doing it for themselves, or ‘I’m doing it to help myself look hot again’…It’s tough to admit to other people that everything isn’t about the baby.” She’s right. There is pressure from all directions these days for new moms to shed the pounds, while at the same time the Bad Mommy Police are lining up to declare you selfish if your focus shifts away from that precious little child for even a nanosecond. It’s a completely confusing setup at a time when most new mothers are already feeling plenty insecure and vulnerable.

I’m quoted as saying that women who prioritize the weight loss benefits of breastfeeding over the health benefits to their children (not to mention the bonding opportunities) may be battling some deeper body image demons. My co-author and I talked to some of these women when we were researching Does This Pregnancy Make Me Look Fat? In fact, nutrition professor Cheryl A. Lovelady suspects that many of those who who say that breastfeeding allows them to eat what they want and slim down might actually be experiencing the after-effects of restrictive eating. If you’re used to constant dieting and subsisting on less than the recommended daily caloric intake, it can seem like quite the bonus when you eat a little more to sustain breastfeeding and you’re still losing weight.

We shouldn’t be too quick to pass judgment on women who sing the praises of the breastfeeding diet or those who find themselves in a body image tailspin as they try to adjust to their bodies after childbirth. After all, preoccupation with postpartum weight is validated on every newsstand and in every mommy group. It’s practically expected of us. But we should challenge this weight loss obsession more deeply. Mothers like Comer, who said she “felt like until the weight was off, I wouldn’t feel myself,” are bound to be disappointed. Not only does a baby change your life permanently, this “get your body back” business is a dangerous, albeit profitable (ka-ching for Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig and the like), ruse. Even women who go back to their pre-pregnancy weight will find that their bodies are changed. And if we can’t find ways to accept those changes, we’re going to have a hell of a tough time teaching our children about self-acceptance.

“Breast-feed the Baby, Love the Calorie Burn” [New York Times]